The Red-Nosed Reindeer
by xXxSexyZexyxXx
Summary: Based on the SAO episode. Akuroku. Death!Fic, T for swearing.


**AN: Hello, everyone. "Crushed" has reached a dead spot, and is temporarily (very, very temporarily) on hold. I'm writing this tiny oneshot to arouse my mojo, per say. I have no inspiration, and for that I am very sorry. I have like 4 story ideas, too, but I want "Crushed" finished first before I take on one more ficlet. I am currently listening to "Every Time You Go" by Ellie Goulding. This may or may not influence the writing. Also, this is kind of tied into Sword Art Online. Don't ask why.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

**oxoxoxoxoxo**

Outside in the cold, rain tapped the rooftops of worn-down houses and left a light fog evaporating in its wake. A lone man sat on a boulder, drenched in not only the wet cold but also his own self-pity. Said man wept silently, memories replaying in his head. A sword was rusting under the black sky next to the man, forgotten, just as everything else in this cruel world he was paralyzed inside of.

In his memories, a loudmouthed redhead captivated his mind. There were memories of the two men laughing, hugging, crying, fighting—every memory the blonde, weeping man had was centered on the redhead. One memory in particular stood out to the blonde, and upon contemplating this memory, the man wept harder to himself on his tiny boulder.

"_Axel," the blonde whispered. It was dark, and the two were alone in the fields under a very luminescent false moon. A hand crept upon the blonde's cheek, something that seemed to have saddened him instead of the intending comfort the gesture implied. The blonde closed his eyes in sadness, and possibly also denial._

"_Roxas," the redhead muttered, "I know I'm asking a lot from you. This world is too big for us to go on our own, though, and to get to the last level, I think we need each other if we ever want to make it out alive. Join my guild, please."_

_Memories, at this time, flashed behind Roxas's eyelids; he saw his old guild members die in front of him—Kairi, Pence, Hayner, Olette in the chamber—Seifer, jumping off of a ledge to end his own existence. Kairi's last words resonated in his mind, and finally he opened his eyes. The blue orbs clouded with guilt, fear, and hatred, although none of his emotions were aimed at Axel._

_Roxas turned slightly, avoiding Axel's gaze. "No, Axel, I'll never join your goddamn guild. Stop asking me." _

_Axel's eyes widened as his hand dropped from the pale cheek it had rested upon previously. "Roxas—"_

"_I said no, dammit! Leave me alone!" Roxas fell to the ground shaking in anger and sadness. Tears cascaded down his dirty face, and finally he accepted that he was scared of death._

"_Roxas," Axel whispered, "you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you. Why won't you join me?"_

_Roxas stood, sniffling, and his saddened exterior replaced itself with a hardened look. He started walking off as Axel grabbed his wrist. Finally, with his back turned, Roxas muttered the truth to his best friend._

"_Everyone I form a guild with dies. I can't let you die. It's better this way." He walked off without any further explanation, Axel screaming and sobbing behind him. Roxas never heard the faint "I love you," whispered, barely escaping wracking sobs behind him._

Now Roxas was here, back in the fields of the VR game _Sword Art Online_ under the same virtual moon in pseudo-rain, on his boulder, mourning. A few months after the confrontation between the two best friends, Roxas had found a newspaper on the 72nd floor that read "Flaming Inferno—players Axel, ViVi, Xaldin, Zexion—have been slaughtered as of February 2023." He was sitting in the fields where they had been last seen, and wept over a cross that resembled the tiny guild.

"If only I'd gone with you," Roxas muttered. His sobs had stopped, only wetness from rain and tears stuck to his clammy skin.

"You goddamn asshole," he laughed, "you went and left without me." Roxas rubbed at his puffy eyes and stood, sword clutched in hand.

"What kind of best friend are you, huh? Maybe I can get to the top floor, and this wouldn't have been for nothing." As Roxas turned in the damp field, a tiny "ping" resonated through the rain's pattering. A box floated in front of him, glowing, and he poked it. The box opened and revealed a recording. When Roxas pressed play, his breathing stopped and his face drained of its color.

"Hey, Rox, it's Axel. If you're listening to this now, and you still aren't in this damn guild with me, I have to assume I'm dead." Roxas's eyes produced a new set of fresh tears, and if he wasn't absorbed in the recording, he would have been shocked that he had any water left to squeeze out.

"Now, I know you're probably blaming yourself, and you think this is your fault. But hey, I'm 99% sure this isn't your fault at all." He laughed quietly. The recording was silent for a moment, and Roxas heard Axel's faint breathing.

He sighed, "Look, Roxas. Don't blame yourself, okay? You couldn't have stopped this. I'm real stubborn, remember?" A light chuckle. A pause. An inhale.

"I missed Christmas, didn't I? Damn, and I was looking forward to giving you something, too. I know this might hurt to hear, but I think I might be in eternal anguish if I never told you this, Roxas. I love you. I love you so, so much, and I'm sorry I was too afraid to tell you in person."

Roxas let go of the floating box and staggered backwards, pained. _He… He can't love me. Not now. Not then. Never. Shit. Fuck. _That was the last straw—Roxas let out a sob that was strangled and bordered a scream. He dropped to his knees in the mud, holding himself while he cried.

"You wanna hear a Christmas carol before I go, Roxy? Hear, let me sing for you." Axel's voice smoothly rang through the rain. He was murmuring "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer."

Roxas opened his mouth to scream, however his voice caught and nothing but a strangled squeak erupted from his cracked lips. He passed out there, in the field, next to the cross that was inscribed '_FLURRY OF DANCING FLAMES' AXEL_.

**xoxoxoxo**

**AN: So, obviously Ellie made this story far more depressing than I was planning. Sorry D:**

**However, please go read "Curiosity," and let it take off c: Review please!**


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